When thinking of a recent conflict or disagreement that I have been involved in, I automatically thought of a conflict that I have had with my cousin and my uncle over a cell phone bill. Although, this is a personal conflict, I used some of the communication techniques that I had learned in the professional arena. Like many teenagers transitioning into adulthood, my cousin was leaving for college and about to live in his "own" in an off campus apartment. Long story short, I added him to my account for a cell phone. The first few months his portion of the bill was paid on time however, before I realized it, the bill wasn't paid for three consecutive months. At this point, I was livid but decided to take a step back and think before I reacted. I called a "sit-down" and we were able to compromise on payment arrangements. These was done only after phone conversations, text messages and emails. In the past, I have observed situations like this one destroy friendships, familial relationships and other interpersonal relationships. I did not want to cause a rift in these relationships because we are a very tight-knit family. This compromise worked out because it did not lead to further conflict and we were able to maintain our bond.
Colleagues, what would you have done differently or can you offer further advice?
I applaud your decision to step back before reacting. Money issues can cause rifts in many types of relationships- many daytime television court shows seem to make their living off of cases like this! That you were able to manage this conflict calmly and were open to compromise would have been any advice I could give- understanding that your cousin is learning the ways of the adult world probably helped you keep all perspectives in mind.
ReplyDeleteAs a parent with a child in college who has caused a similar conflict within the family, you dealt with it a lot better than I did. My situation was with an overdrawn back account and I reacted first without talking to my son about what was going on. In the end we were able to make an arrangement but it took awhile because I made the problem worse by reacting first and listening later. If I had talked to him and listened to his side I would have known that he was already in contact with the bank and made an arrangement and the letter I received was automatically generated and sent to me because I was on the account also. I commend you on taking a step back first, calming down then addressing the issues.
ReplyDeleteAnetria, I think you did a fantastic job on handling this kind of situation. Like you said, conflicts like this can definitely break up of friendships and familial relationships. It sounds like everyone in this situation respected one another and instead of your cousin and uncle being upset, they took responsibility for not holding up their end of the bargain. If this way worked for you, I definitely wouldn't change a thing!
ReplyDeleteI think that it is sometimes difficult to confront situations and issues especially in person. It seemed easier to discuss the problem through emails and text instead. I think you did the right thing by meeting in person and by reminding yourself to stay calm. Im glad you were able to resolve the conflict and maintain your relationships.
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